Race, etc.

It's 4 in the morning, and I'm attempting to finish a book for my class tomorrow (today).

I'm reading three books at the moment, and they all have their unique purposes.
Power, Privilege, and Difference is for the class I'm taking to become an RA. It's interesting, but ultimately it's a middle-class white guy talking about racism. And since that's pretty much what I am (minus the guy part) I pretty much know everything he has to say. Plus it's just so "You should be ashamed of who you are! If you're white, you'll always be a racist no matter what! Especially if you think you're not a racist. Because that really means that you are a racist. Don't even try to deny it. You're only friends with people of color because you're trying to prove you're not a racist." It's a little much at times. When I read it, I get so irritated with the apologetic, accusatory tone, I start getting angry with it, and feeling like there aren't really any racial injustices in the world anymore; the author of this book is just a bleeding-heart liberal. And then I think "Oh my god, I'm becoming a Republican! How did this happen?!" and it's very disconcerting.
But then I read my next book, which is The Dream and the Nightmare, which is the most disgustingly racist, classist, sexist piece of propaganda I think I've ever been forced to read. One page of that and I think "Oh thank god I'm still a Democrat." Seriously, the guy is so scary and frothy.
And when I'm tired of being put through the emotional/political wringer, I read You Can't Be Neutral on a Moving Train, which is fascinating and inspiring and beautiful. Howard Zinn is my hero. I want to be him when I grow up.
And then I pass out on a pile of books for a few hours before class. I like my existence.