So the other day I stumbled upon the official website of the The World Beard & Moustache Championships, which in two years will be held in my hometown. Reeling with delight, I promptly told everyone I know about how hilarious and great it is. Today I talked to my coworker for like ten minutes straight about this nonexistent beard competition documentary I'll never make. He kept being like "Wow, you're... really excited about this...(?)" Basically here's what I want to know:

- I want to know what their significant others (and children?) feel about this. Are they like, Into Beards into beards? Does Mrs. Schmidbauer just chuckle goodnaturedly and say, "Oh that Gerhart. He sure does love that thing on his face." Do these wives(/husbands? are these guys fascist manly men who frown upon the love that dare not blah blah?) travel with their men to these competitions? What do Beard Wives talk about while their men are, uh, competing?

- Do they generally stick with one style and perfect it, or do they experiment with new and different styles each time? Do they ever get sick of the maintenance and shave it all off? Do they look down on men who give up the bearded lifestyle? One of the coordinators of the last World Championship did not have a beard in his headshot. Did he have to wear a fake beard when he was at the competition, like how fancy restaurants will loan you a jacket and tie?

- Are there bitter rivalries between competitors? Do they ever steal each others' looks? Do they play hilarious camp-style pranks on each other? Bleach in the pomade? NAIR?!

- Are they required to wear ridiculous hats, or is that just a bonus? Do they realize how funny they look? Do they have a sense of humor about it? If somebody says "You look kind of like The Lorax," do they take offense?

These questions must be answered!!!

Boourger King.

So I've suddenly become a projectionist for the second run/art house/non-profit movie theatre in town, which is exciting because it's been a dream of mine for several years now. I did my first show by myself today, with the guy who's been training me just standing on the side while I did my thing. It was terrifying, but nothing melted or broke or got chopped off, and the movie was cute, and it was a great experience.

The movie was Once. It is so charming I could not even stand it. I smiled the whole way through, and giggled, and sighed. Visually, it's quite pretty, and the music is fantastic, and I want the soundtrack. The movie is slow, and there's not much to the story, but it doesn't matter because the characters are great, and the music is beautiful. Go see it.

Last week was The Ten, which I thoroughly enjoyed, because it was made by all sorts of people whose work I had previously loved (basically everyone who was on The State and all their friends). Apparently it was sort of a limited release premiere, which is funny because nobody at the theatre made any mention of it. People also apparently do not like this movie, which I sort of get, because it's totally absurd and gross and irreverent, except wait, why don't people like it? The soundtrack to this movie was likewise fantastic, and after three screenings, there are certain bits of the score that simply will not leave my head. Also certain jokes, which I can't even make reference to in the presence of other people, because nobody else has seen this movie. Tragic.